likeigiveashit

This post really does not have a point. I mainly wanted to use the word 'nigh' in a title. It's such a strange word. Nigh. Why not just use the word 'near'? They mean the same thing. I don't like it I tells ya. Add it to the list of words that bother me.

I also wanted to test and show off this floating text around rotated image javascript plugin I just wrote for myself. Oh you fancy huh. I want those 65 seconds back. See how this text wraps smoothly around the image even though it's rotated? I will explain how I did it if I ever get my tech blog going. Long story short, I had to dust off my geometry knowledge. I really never though I'd use the tan() function on my calculator. Do young folks know what Polaroids are?

I'm looking forward to the consistent warmth of the summer. Sir Duke has been collecting dust in the garage and a season of epic riding is approaching. There have been a couple of unseasonably warm days during the winter where I've taken the Duke out for few minutes of running. Yesterday afternoon hit 75 and I put a few miles on her during lunch. This afternoon isn't going to cooperate. It's cooled down to the low 60's and it is looking like rain. I'm afraid I'm just not that tough. So I will be waiting a little bit longer.

I realize my promised monthly posts have turned quarterly. The main reason is lack of content. I'm going to use this space for my riding, traveling and home-improvement blog. If you want to write as well, drop me a message through my contact form.

(Where One understands the evil power of combining caffeine with pathologically scary under-confidence and resolves not to make the same mistake again, but inevitably will anyway.)

Here is the best part: Interviewer: Why do you think it is that you haven’t been hired anywhere yet? Me: (Really?) Well, there are a lot of people applying for the same positions. The competition is pretty overwhelming...

And while he seems satisfied with my response, it’s a fucking lie. A lie that is sure to be revealed if I didn’t completely blow this particular interview by talking too fast and refusing to slow down in spite of recognizing that I was blowing it but still finding myself unable to behave normally.

I have done this more than twice.

More than that, I have pulled a kamikaze move. A this-interview-will-self-destruct-in-T-minus-3 seconds tactic. Either I say something brilliant when they ask if I have ‘questions so far’: “I have multiple felony convictions, is that gonna be a problem?” (Not quite like that, but I might as well.) Or at the inevitable ‘is there anything you would like to tell us/me?’ point I hear myself launch into a narrative that can no sooner be stopped than a destructive force of nature. My typhoon of “CRIMEFELONYDRUGADDICTIONPRISON” is delivered in a let’s just get this over with fashion: quick and dirty; but it’s more akin to ripping open my coat to reveal a tailored suit of plastic explosives. You should see what that does to a face.

At least I didn’t do THAT on this go around. I was coming unglued as I sat across the table from the HR manager. Certainly frightening to behold at this writing, with more practice I will surely present as unassuming, perhaps even appealing. This is another one (in a veritable gauntlet) of those walking-through-fire trials. I know I will not get this job, yet I force myself to go through the motions, to wear the suit I cannot afford to have dry cleaned and drive miles and miles, to waste my time and yours, to pretend I’m just any job applicant and not the Bin Laden of entry-level accountant job applicants, so that one day I will arrive! I will get there.

And then look out, motherfuckers!